I started off Monday at Babble in the usual way--with make up tips. Pretty much everyone has been clamoring for my beauty products. So I gave it up. I gave up all my beauty secrets.
Every summer I remember summer when I was little because it smells and sounds the same. And then it hits me: Now is the olden days for my kids. I wonder if they will remember me as bed ridden.
I've been noticing something. Boys and girls shop for clothes together on dates. That's not right. Neither is hugging in a swim suit. Don't do it. You might get pregnant.
Also, someone called me reprehensible for this old post. Yada, yada, yada . . . Josh insinuated that "Dew" was short for douchebag. So that happened.
I went ahead and explained the secret to family harmony on Thursday. Then I posted a sweet video of Mr. Rogers speak-singing with the help of auto tune. I don't think there's anyone else who is as earnest as him. How did we all turn out to be such aloof hipsters after growing up with him? That's not right. (I know I'm not a hipster.)
And this morning I made some ground-breaking discoveries in the field of ordinal linguistic personification. Spoiler Alert: 9 is a jerk! 1 and 2 don't know what to do with him. It's not right.
And here's a little teaser for Monday. I'm working on my magnum opus of slideshows. I will post it on Monday. See if you can guess the topic with these clues: Everything I write for Babble.com is about parenting. And what is my favorite wizarding book series? OK. You know it's Harry Potter. So. Parenting. Harry Potter. Parenting + Harry Potter. . . Do you think you know? Try to guess. Get stoked for Monday!
I think about Dew a lot. I'm really disappointed with him/her for not leaving some contact information with which all of your loyal friends and followers could barrage them with. It would be fun. It is a testament to your blog's classiness that all of the backlash has been clever and/or civil. The "/or" was added for Josh's clever comment.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I enjoy speculating Dew's gender and life situation. I hope they are a man because that makes them kind of creepy and easier to mock, but I kind of feel like they might be a woman. What do you think? Your next post should be a poll where we can vote. Surrender diapers!
ReplyDeletei have noticed that there is no way to find your posts on the babble home page... jerks! so i appreciate the babble tweets and weekend roundups.
ReplyDeleteHi. Love your blog. And I LOVED your reprehensible parenting post. You're pretty awesome. Keep being you.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm going to make Surrender Diapers! t-shirts and sell them online. Seriously. You wanna get in on this? I have a feeling it's going to be big. :)