When Ellen and I were at the library a few weeks ago one of the books didn't get checked out so the sensor beeped on our way out. It was the bag of books Ellen was carrying. We went back and checked out the book. It was no big deal. Oh, but it was. Ellen hasn't wanted to go back to the library since that day. She thought the police were going to come and she was going to go to jail. She must have only thought that for a few minutes at the most because I explained it to her as it was happening. She has become obsessed with getting arrested. "Do the police come and get you for driving too fast?" "Do the police come and get you if you have too much money?" She thinks about it a lot. It's kind of interesting to see the thin layers of neurosis form in your own children.
Speaking of thin layers of neurosis, I've told you before that I credit my lack of body issues to my mom's good parenting. She never put me on a diet, was weird about food, or commented negatively on my appearance except to tell me that when I slicked my bangs back I looked like a peeled onion. Of course, that scarred me for life--so it's that good she never took me off cheese. I have a friend whose mom took him off cheese. SPOILER: It didn't make him skinnier.
Anyway, you might think I
should have body issues and I certainly
strive for health and fitness but I've got to tell you--I don't obsess over it and I'm grateful for that. I try to take the same approach with my daughters (and sons--except NO CHEESE FOR THEM.) so I'm a little dismayed at the trouble "skinny" jeans are causing for 4-year-old Ellen.
In my day we called them "pegged" and I think it contributed to our positive body images. Ellen doesn't like to wear non-skinny jeans because she thinks if they are non-skinny they are "fat." And that's what she says. "I don't like these because they are fat." I've tried to explain that they aren't "skinny," it's just a more narrow cut and so on but you can see her line of reasoning. But she doesn't really wear any of her "skinny" jeans either because she doesn't like things that are tight at all. Skinny but not tight? Loose but not fat? We've found some great middle ground in sheer tights worn as pants. Well, she thinks it's great middle ground.
Does she have trouble with "pleats"? I think you know what I mean...
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ReplyDelete've always credited my lack of body issues to the same thing. My Mom has body issues, but she just didn't say anything about it and therefore it didn't carry to me. Makes me wonder how the things I say will mess up my boy.
ReplyDeleteI have five daughters, and so far, only my fourth one (who is now 7) obsesses about being fat and about what she wears. And yet, when it comes to body issues, she is the one I worry about least, and who should have the least worry of them all! It's befuddling.
ReplyDeleteIt took me SO LONG to understand that skinny jeans were NOT "for skinny people," which is what I'd thought.
ReplyDeleteMy mom was good about body issues, too. It took me forever to get around to growing out my bangs, though (I was well into my thirties), because she told me so often WHAT a high forehead I had. I wonder too what it is I'm doing that's like that to my kids!
You've just revealed to me why two of my daughters refer to any jeans which aren't skinny as Fat. I hadn't understood until now. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI teach middle school - and I see "skinny" jeans on a daily basis on both boys and girls - and on skinny kids they look so weird - I'm thinking, "That kid's leg is smaller around than my wrist!" And on not-so-skinny kids - well, it's pretty awful - funny how adolescence obscures your vision - or maybe these kids don't have full length mirrors in their houses? But we have them at school! ("See yourself as others see you!!")
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