I've written about my cat, Ozzy, before. He is so weird. He is bulking up for winter. But I guess his body is not adjusting to binge mode because he threw up all his food on the kitchen floor yesterday morning. (Believe me, there are much worse things to wake up to.) It's a wooden floor but he was all daintily side-stepping the vomit pile and swiping his feet over it as if he were burying it in sand mixed with baking soda. I wanted to say, "Ozzy. It's a wooden floor. You aren't covering that stinky pile with anything. You are doing a pantomime of covering it. It's not helping. Why don't you stop this charade and just eat it again?" That's what I wanted to say. But he just kept swiping with his little feet like a mom swiping brownie crumbs off the counter into her hand. He is so weird.
He has ways of letting us know when he wants to go outside. Whatever his schedule is, I am unable to discern the patterns. He lets us know if he wants to go out in the middle of the night by first pawing at the water cups on our nightstands. Sometimes Christian will hear him and awaken me with, "Your water!" If we don't wake up and let him out he will tip the water over. This makes us so mad. Sometimes we grab him and throw him really far when he does this. (They always land on their feet.) I think he understands that the water-spilling isn't worth it. Sometimes he rustles papers with his paws until we let him out. He is learning--just like iTunes learns to pick songs you will like. It's kind of unnerving.
Lately he has been doing the worst thing of all. He sits right in front of the Tivo receiver so we can't change the channel or pause TV from our bed. He sits there until we let him out! It's infuriating, but effective.
Ozzy's maneuvering makes my other cat, Snoopy, look like a big idiot when he wants to go out. Snoopy just stands by the door and goes, "MEOW MEOW MEOW." I always think he's so stupid and refuse to let him out. Later when Ozzy uses his strategy to get me to open the door, Snoopy runs really fast to get out the door behind him. What a moron.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Cats are so weird! Remember how spiteful Pickles was, how apathetic Headcheese was, and how Linus (Hop-along) was the only sweet cat we ever owned?
ReplyDeleteThis is why I am a dog person. They are more afraid of offending you.
ReplyDeleteI like that you have a cat named snoopy!
ReplyDeleteSnoopy is a moron. Or maybe most cats are stupid and Ozzy is just really smart.
ReplyDeleteI like that Ben named our dumb cat Snoopy too. I also like that Ben thinks it is going to be funny to go trick or treating as Santa Claus. He has a well developed sense of humor.
My brother went trick or treating as Santa Claus. No one gave him any candy. It was like trick or treating with Charlie Brown.
ReplyDeleteMy husband once treated a woman in the ER with a badly broken foot. She had gone to kick her cat and kicked the coffee table instead.
ReplyDeleteCats want to be let out in the middle of the night? For real?
ReplyDeleteDEALBREAKER.
I mean, not because I'd be sleeping or anything, just because the couch is warm and comfy at that point. I'd probably yell for one of the kids to wake up and do it for me.
Is this where I remind you that you are a dog person?
ReplyDeleteYou BOTH have WATER CUPS at the side ofyou you BED?! How does that work? Do take little sips every few hours? Is there ice in them? What if spiders fell in them? Do you have to sit up when you drink? Do you have straws? Please write an entire blog about this.
ReplyDelete@Amazing Spider Fan - I think it's an old person thing. I remember my dad calling up to my mom every night asking if she wanted him to bring her water. Now I do it. Every night. We're old and we like our routines. Leave us alone.
ReplyDeleteI guess we just get thirsty at night, Robbie, and we like to have big glasses of ice water to drink.
ReplyDeleteI mean, you DON'T?
It could be worse, you could have multiple water cups like we do. See, sometimes we forget to take our water cup to the sink in the morning, so we just keep adding to the collection on the night stand each night. I hope some day we will have a "swing away" moment and we'll realize that our laziness really paid off in the end.
ReplyDeleteDon't underestimate the importance of having cups of water around your house. When the aliens come, you'll be glad you did.
ReplyDelete