I'm not naturally a clean freak. I understand how things can pile up and the worse it gets the harder it is to feel motivated to clean, BUT have you been watching Hoarding: Buried Alive? I feel some sympathy for hoarders. I know they are ashamed and worry that people are grossed out by them. But to be honest with you, I am grossed out by them. Let's not mince words. If you hoard garbage you are a slob. Some people on the show have lots of stuff. But some of them just never throw garbage away. One lady was making herself a microwave dinner and she just threw the wrapper on the floor on a pile of garbage. On camera. I mean, wouldn't you make some kind of pretense of looking for a garbage can if you were being filmed by a camera crew? I would. And I comfortably go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink. Hoarding is a scene, man.
So these hoarders have to meet with a therapist to work through their hoarding issues. It is so weird. I saw one where the therapist asked the hoarder if he could get rid of a tacky Christmas ornament for her. She had a panic attack. Then I imagined an amazing season finale for the show. It is revealed in a season cliffhanger that the therapist himself is a hoarder and has been hoarding all the stuff he has coaxed his clients to part with. Pretty awesome idea, I know.
Anyway, if you have hoarding tendencies and are worried about getting worse I've thought of some things you should AVOID doing. And if you've seen the show and want to give hoarding a try, here are the steps to becoming a hoarder:
Save pizza boxes--you could "make something" with them.
Start a "collection" of walking sticks.
Buy fabric whenever it is on sale.
Get a ferret.
Start wearing suspenders.
Get motorcycle helmets with microphones and plan a cross country trip that you will never take.
Smell like dandruff.
Good luck! When people come over just laugh and say, "Watch out for that box of used wax paper!" The most important thing is to continue acting and talking like you are completely normal instead of 100% nuts. And remember, no matter what your family says you can sell it, make something useful out of it, or turn it into a gorgeous accent piece. Think about it: What if you throw it away and then you need it?
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That show gives me the willies!!!
ReplyDeleteYou forgot "Never vacuum up dog hair covering your floors, furniture, and stairway." Cuz we all know that if you do, it means that you hate your dog and the act itself will cause your dog to die sooner.
ReplyDeleteI never mice words! I am addicted (funny right) to shows like Intervention and Hoarders. In fact last night as I was watching them way too late into the night I was wondering why I put myself through it. I am constantly disappointed with the troubled people. The addicts usually leave treatment and relapse and the hoarders just don't seem to get it.
ReplyDeleteYou may like to hear that a lady up the street from us was a hoarder, complete with access trails snaking through the mounds and mounds and mounds of filth. Then one day she had a fire in the fireplace, it caught something it shouldn't, and WHOOSH. Enter: worst case scenario.
ReplyDeleteSo funny and true!
ReplyDeleteEvery time we watch Hoarders, my husband and I debate. He thinks they are more lazy than sick and I think they are way more sick than lazy. Our "discussion" ends when we both get so grossed out we have to change the channel.
Yea that show is unbelieveable. But it helps me feel normal and not feel bad about the dog poop behind the couch.
ReplyDeleteSo you're saying that these days, there is literally garbage on t.v.?
ReplyDeleteUmmm . . .
ReplyDeleteWe're doing or have done 4 of the things on your list.
Yikes?
It feels so wrong to be laughing at this post!
ReplyDeletePoor slobs.
I tend toward natural clean freak, but I grew up in a house that had hoarding tendencies. I haven't watched the show because I think it might hit too close to home.
ReplyDeleteThis is my life from a sister-in-law stand point. You can only do so much and try to intervene enough before you realize it is too late because they have started hoarding animals and it has become to much of a public health issue for you to visit. Insensitive, what!? This is exactly how I feel and I am bound by law to have this person in my life. Not fun and totally creepy.
ReplyDeleteMy mother in law is a hoarder and it is awful. The last time we went to visit, we replaced a broken broom and when she found out she went through all the garbage outside (diapers, old food, nastiness) to find the old broom and tape it back together again. She was in a complete panic over this.
ReplyDeleteSad and disgusting. I really don't understand why someone would want to live like that.
And now you've described people I knew in Houston who had a special nook for the ferret, who proudly proclaimed, "You'd never even know the ferret was here!" Sure, except for the smell.
ReplyDeleteI am the complete opposite of a hoarder! I get a sick thrill out of throwing stuff away. I watch this show and wish that I could go and throw all of their stuff away and clean their house for them! Its so gross. But i would be extremely frustrated because they would just start hoarding again and all my hard work would be a waste. Sad.
ReplyDeleteI am afraid to watch...I save everything, but it is all hidden. Does that make me a hoarder? It's all secreted away in cupboards and closets, because you never know who is going to ask you for 50 toilet paper rolls for their preschool class or for plastic eggs in December when you can't buy them at the store. Everyone knows they can call me for the 80's party clothes, since I still have mine. So, am I a hoarder?
ReplyDeleteI am terrified of turning into a pack rat and then its logical next step: into a hoarder.
ReplyDeleteI have natural pack rat tendencies that I battle constantly. I've gotten far better at tossing stuff. If I really need it, I can go buy it again.
Most hoarders are sick. They have serious issues that are not being addressed. I know someone who is a hoarder in the attempt: plastic grape packages from Costco, empty Styrofoam take-out containers, bags and bags of JUNK, accumulating more and more things, never throwing away, "rescuing" from the garbage, a storage unit with JUNK. She can't let go. It's sad.
Again, I want someone to make me a flashing sing that says (____) days without a cat carcass in the living room. It will boost my self-esteem.
ReplyDeleteWithout fail, Hoarders motivates me to finish organizing my closet or that cupboard that's been driving me crazy. Mostly, I'm fascinated by how similar each case is. It's never just tons of stuff. It's always piles upon piles, making every item inaccessible. Which totally goes against the whole reason for it -- having things. So strange and sad. Also, I was driving the other day behind a hoarder. Junk piled to the top of the car. I almost got in an accident. I couldn't take my eyes off of it.
ReplyDeleteohmigosh, i can't watch that show anymore. i can't keep spending the money on extra showers after i watch it.
ReplyDeletei saw this one once where the woman kept all her DEPENDS. her USED ONES. 4 tons of poop in her house. HELLO!?!
I second everybody who just said: "Train wreck -- I'm horrified, but I can't stop watching." Also, "After watching, I can't stop cleaning."
ReplyDeleteI think you can probably guess about how I feel/react to the hit show Hoarders, so I won't bore you with that.
ReplyDeleteWhat I WILL point out is that what strikes me as another tragic layer to the story is that NO ONE EVER GETS BETTER! The therapists, family members, and most importantly, the cleaning crew always say, "Well, she'll just keep doing it again. We hope she won't, but 99% do." And have you noticed there are never any follow-up shows, like 6 months later! A year later and no rotting pumpkin on the floor! NEVER.
I always, always feel bad for that cleaning crew. Even if they get paid because it's like they're pushing a big rock up a hill and it keeps rollin' on down. I once helped a hoarder friend of mine. I spent 4 hours cleaning and organizing her kitchen pantry (with my kids!) with the understanding that, yes, things had gotten out of control, but she just was too overwhelmed to know where to begin to change. So, when the next month she yelled at me across the street "You need to come over and clean out my pantry again--it's a mess!" and I about ran across the street and slapped her. I didn't, of course, but I also didn't go back over and reorganize that pantry.
And another tv show we share! I dvr- it and save it for afternoons when I need a little motivation to wash dishes. Nothing gets me washing the breakfast dishes at 3:00 quite like looking at someone's house stew of craft supplies plus flattened dead animals plus geological mounds of clothing plus old bills and coupons and magazine articles. There was one person saving broken hangers to give to someone else (as in, not a specific person they know, just some random "someone") to make a project with. I throw away perfectly good unbroken ones. So, yay me = not a hoarder.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I even want to watch it, I think I just want you to talk about it. Because that is FUNNY and I LOVE IT, and now I feel like watching the show might be a letdown.
ReplyDeleteMy father-in-law is a hoarder and it's definitely sickness not laziness. I'M lazy and don't feel like keeping up with stuff. HE has things in boxes stacked to the ceiling, with narrow little passageways leading from room to room. I'M kind of messy. HE had the fire department write him up for blocking emergency exits in his apartment building. I'M kind of bad about clutter. HE saves all his magazines and newspapers. No, ALL. I mean, there's a level where it's "Am I a pot calling a kettle black?" and there's a level where it's "OMFG!! CLEARLY NOT!"
My mother-in-law described in detail the episode about the lady with the poopy Depends everywhere. Over dinner. At Chef's Table. She loves horrific things like that. I don't watch it, but Ben likes to watch and then say things like, "That's Mom's future!" to the kids and they get nervous and I laugh, but then I get nervous because I really need to learn to throw more stuff away. But it's not THAT bad, I promise.
ReplyDeleteAlso, my word verification is natyhoot, and I think that's an awesome word.
Dang. This is Hailey, on Ben's laptop.
ReplyDeleteShut up! You've seen my mom's craft room! Every yard of fabric was bought on "clearance" which automatically means she HAD to buy it. Even if it was butt-ugly and looks terrible in your granddaughter's baby quilt.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I love your blog. But, you already knew that.
I've seen a couple of those shows, some based in Britain and ICK! It's hard to believe people can live like that.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, why a ferret and not a hamster?
I have never seen the show but the 30 sec. preview made me sick so I don't think I could handle watching it. I think I have been working through not hoarding in the small way that I do. The longer I am married the more thing I realize I don't have to keep around "just in case" because if I really need that particular thing I can probably buy it again or find it at a thrift store.
ReplyDeleteWhen my daughter was in grade 2 her friend asked her to feed her turtles while her family was on vacation. Each day my daughter and I went into the house of hoarding and just looked at everything. Had to walk sideways down the halls. Lots of gagging. I even brought one of my sister over to stare.
ReplyDeleteOne time, hoarder-mom told
me her daughter had a rash on her bum I was all, "YA THINK?!"
Too gross for me - let's talk about LOST some more.
ReplyDeleteP.S. - I just wrote down all my thoughts on tonights episode. . .
ReplyDeleteThis has nothing to do with being a Hoarder. It's another etiquette question for you:
ReplyDeleteWe have a friend that's getting married. She's the widow of my husband's best friend. The guy she's marrying has never been married before, but they are both almost 40 and have well established homes. Gifts are optional, but they have registerd at 3 locations. I'm leaning toward nothing, but what would you get them?
The never-getting-better part of (Hoarders and Intervention) makes me sad. It reminds me of when President Kimball said in "Jesus The Perfect Leader" that Jesus could love everyone because he was able to separate the sin from the sinner, because He understood that our sins and weaknesses sprang from "Deep, unmet needs." That sentence changed the way I look at everything because it's totally true. We all arrive on earth with certain needs, and sometimes things happen that turn those little holes into chasms of need and then people fill them up with all kinds of crap--garbage, drugs, sleep, food, excitement, TV, sex, cleaning, exercising--heck, I guess anything we do outside of moderation can go on the list. But the hoarding thing--I can't get my brain around how it gets THAT BAD, THAT FAST. Like Lisa, I helped a hoarder a couple of times (I was her VT) and was absolutely shocked at the speed with which that woman could trash her home. She lost custody of her baby because of the mess--it was horrible. I clean like a maniac after watching that show, and usually fill the back of my caravan with thrift store donations, too. I've got my weaknesses, but hoarding aint gonna be one of them!
ReplyDeleteMy Father-in-law is a hoarder, and I found this post terribly insensitive and inappropriate. Just kidding. But only about the insensitive and inappropriate part. When my in-laws divorced a few years ago, my husband and his brothers hauled so many truckloads of donations to the local thrift shops, that they were banned. Then they hauled 7 tons to the dump. I have no patience with hoarding.
ReplyDeletep.s. I almost passed out when I read the ferret part.
I usually only watch TV when I fly JetBlue somewhere - and the last time we flew I saw two episodes of Hoarders - whoa - made me feel like rushing back home and clearing out all my closets!!
ReplyDeleteI guess "it could happen!!"
I LOVE that show and all the crazy it shows me. Did you see the one where the couple had like 99 cats in their home, 45 of which were DEAD? And, they had estimated that they had had 25 or so cats? It was GLORIOUS.
ReplyDeletesparklebot, that episode was my favorite (and not just because I hate cats).
ReplyDeletei was lol'ing as i read your post!!!! hoarders are gross, i agree. another show i watch is 'the fattest man on earth'. it's another level of hoarding - he hoards food, and he makes regular hoarders look sane.
ReplyDelete