I have learned so much from having a son because I never had brothers. Mostly I'm learning about scouting and the importance of precooking tin foil dinners but the other thing that is dawning on me is that I can NOT BELIEVE I was in love with 12-year-old boys when I was 12 and--more than that--I expected them to reciprocate. This notion horrifies me now. You mean, those boys I fantasized about marrying had just started to wear deodorant and still watched cartoons like, every day? It's so weird that every year I hoped to get a Valentine. I never did--it was disappointing then, but now I know 12-year-old boys just don't do that or think like that. They are completely oblivious. It would have made me feel better to know that. I'm sure there is someone--probably someone very nice--who is in love with Sam and thinks that maybe he will give her a valentine or ask her to dance. I hope she has brothers and understands but if she doesn't, here's what I would tell her: Don't take it personally.
Friday, February 19, 2010
And Then There's Sam
Sam is my oldest. Sam was my first. It's not that he's my favorite--I truly don't have a favorite and that's the truth--but he is the most like me. Of course, I hate myself--so in a way Sam is the opposite of my favorite. Anyway, he's 12. Our feet are the same size, which makes me feel like a petite, feminine mom with a strapping son. Even though I'm not. Sam is really great, interesting, thoughtful, reliable, and old enough to not want to be blogged about, probably. We don't always get what we want in life, do we son? Lesson done.
I have learned so much from having a son because I never had brothers. Mostly I'm learning about scouting and the importance of precooking tin foil dinners but the other thing that is dawning on me is that I can NOT BELIEVE I was in love with 12-year-old boys when I was 12 and--more than that--I expected them to reciprocate. This notion horrifies me now. You mean, those boys I fantasized about marrying had just started to wear deodorant and still watched cartoons like, every day? It's so weird that every year I hoped to get a Valentine. I never did--it was disappointing then, but now I know 12-year-old boys just don't do that or think like that. They are completely oblivious. It would have made me feel better to know that. I'm sure there is someone--probably someone very nice--who is in love with Sam and thinks that maybe he will give her a valentine or ask her to dance. I hope she has brothers and understands but if she doesn't, here's what I would tell her: Don't take it personally.
I have learned so much from having a son because I never had brothers. Mostly I'm learning about scouting and the importance of precooking tin foil dinners but the other thing that is dawning on me is that I can NOT BELIEVE I was in love with 12-year-old boys when I was 12 and--more than that--I expected them to reciprocate. This notion horrifies me now. You mean, those boys I fantasized about marrying had just started to wear deodorant and still watched cartoons like, every day? It's so weird that every year I hoped to get a Valentine. I never did--it was disappointing then, but now I know 12-year-old boys just don't do that or think like that. They are completely oblivious. It would have made me feel better to know that. I'm sure there is someone--probably someone very nice--who is in love with Sam and thinks that maybe he will give her a valentine or ask her to dance. I hope she has brothers and understands but if she doesn't, here's what I would tell her: Don't take it personally.
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Amazingly I was thinking about that the other day. Why we ever thought that boys would have liked us at that age. It did make life entertaining, though. But I don't think any 12 year old girls would be good enough for Sam.
ReplyDeleteWell, you've given me something to think about and regret today. I am mortified about all those hours I spent crushing on awkward teenage boys...and that it carried on through high school and college. Ahem.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm not letting my little guy get any older than 4. That's the limit.
Truer words were never spoken.
ReplyDeleteSo true. But I had a 'boyfriend' in 6th grade who wore awesome parachute pants and had a tail in his hair. Then he cut off his tail and gave it to a girl named Shanda. I was humiliated cause everyone knew that boy had done me wrong. He knew how to work the 11 year old girls into a frenzy. I'm so glad my boy (and yours) are oblivious. Let's hope they stay that way for awhile.
ReplyDeleteIt is disconcerting to imagine being twelve - when we've already been twelve.
ReplyDeleteTrying having kids get married and having kids! (I remember thinking that my mother's life was over when I got married. I thought, "She is old and her life is over." She was 47!)
OMG YES. I was SO IN LOVE with 12-year-old boys when I was 11 or 12. Sigh. I even documented in my diary the kinds of Valentine's I hoped to receive, and yet I was always disappointed. (Once, though, I got a roll of Lifesavers taped to a Valentine. I analyzed that TO DEATH.)
ReplyDeleteHave I told you how much I like these posts about your kids? If I didn't already copy EVERY post you ever do, I would so copy them.
ReplyDeleteI've always liked Sam a lot.
I have been trying to encourage my boys to be thoughtful to the girls who have crushes on them for years! Must be my inner child speaking to me.
ReplyDeleteThis year I got my 10 year old (the most mature of the bunch) to give his crush an entire pack of gum when the rest of the class got smartie airplane things. I hope I made her day.
I also hope I am not encouraging a future teenaged pregnancy that all started with a pack of gum (!)
I love that your 12 yr old has similar traits to my 12 yr old - except mine has bigger feet than me.
ReplyDeleteOh - and mine does give valentines to 5 or 6 neighborhood girls who won't end up in histrionics (is that a word?) but will hopefully remember that nice boy who made her feel special one day. Of course, this is done at my husband's urging.
So true. It's like the whole Justin Bieber thing - in five years, those girls will not fathom why they obsessed over a 15 year old boychild who can't even grow body hair yet.
ReplyDeleteOh, the awkwardness of 12! It will stay with me forever. I'm just glad Miles is "enjoying being a bachelor right now." It really takes off the pressure.
ReplyDeleteI still think of him as a little boy running around the soccer field with Taylor.....Taylor showers twice a day and still stinks! UGH
ReplyDeleteSO TRUE. And how about the particularly Boy Smell and the apparent inability to shower and brush teeth properly?? Ahhh....what we overlooked in the name of love...
ReplyDeleteI have had this same realization and it makes me laugh and laugh and say, "THAT EXPLAINS A LOT!" I have gone so far as to take my 10th grade boyfriend's mother out to dinner and tell her thank you for so gracefully putting up with the whole idea of us "going together" (read as: talking on the phone, skate boarding after school, holding hands, dancing at stake dances, buying big gulps/slurpees for each other, and kissing in secret). When I sub early morning seminary, I always have the same realization-- I once thought these boys were strapping young men and they are, literally, 98-pound weaklings! (even the biggest of them is like six foot and 150 and still prefers video games to ladies)(which is fine) (and much safer). But yay, Sam. I love his name and his attitude. When he fianlly has a lady friend, I think she will appreciate YOUR attitude, too. (rather than those perfectionist moms--so much pressure!)
ReplyDelete