What Did You Get?

Usually I had to wait until the next day to call my friends to ask, "What'd you get?" Sometimes we already knew because we were world class snoops. Mind you: for all the gifts I may have "ruined" by snooping as a tween, I made up for by earnestly believing in Santa Claus until 5th grade. I remember some of my friends' best gifts: a duvet (I had never heard of such a thing!), a whole Esprit outfit, skis, a real Cabbage Patch doll, a homemade cabbage patch doll (sorry, dude), a ghetto blaster. Some of my most memorable gifts were: a disco kid record player, a doll with a bed, bath, and infant seat, a corduroy blazer, a puppy that died a few days later, a huge padded cloth box full of doll clothes, a yellow terry cloth robe with red ric rac, and lifesaver books. I love presents! I wouldn't describe myself as shallow or materialistic, but presents make me happy. Here's what I got this year:

• Last year I got myself my own petite hammer for hammering jobs around the house--of which there are many--that I can never complete because I can never find tools in the garage. To my delight my son Sam has become interested and proficient in fixing his bike and messing around with scooters and skateboards this year. He uses my hammer to do this, but then he lost it. I have been complaining about my lost hammer for months. In a thoughtful move, Sam got me a new hammer for Christmas WHICH HE LOST BEFORE I EVER EVEN SAW IT. I would say it's ironic, but irony is when the opposite of what you expect to happen happens, sort of but not really like rain on your wedding day--which could more accurately be described as "disappointing." I'm disappointed that I didn't get my hammer, but it's the thought that counts. I guess.

• On Christmas eve I mentioned offhandedly to my husband that I was glad my Moringa bubble bath was almost gone because the smell "makes me totally sick." On Christmas morning he gave me the bubble bath, lotion, body butter, and exfoliant. Bless his heart for being thoughtful and observant, but I'm a complicated woman.

He also got me:

• Vintage garnet earrings to go with my Paris ring.

• These salt and pepper shakers!

Maybe I am materialistic because part of what makes me love them is knowing HOW EXPENSIVE they are. Seriously, I love them so much. I stare at them. Salt seems savorier, pepper more peppery. They are so red and glossy. I have an irrational fear of them chipping. More gifts (yes, it was quite a haul!):

• A bundle of Ben's homemade books: Apples, The Boy and the Beast, and The Boys and the Beast, A Sequel to The Boy and the Beast, and my favorite Christmas favorite, Stupid Olive. An excerpt: "Olive thinks she's a reindeer. Stupid Olive!"
• The Pioneer Woman Cooks--a signed copy!
• 3 Beefsticks
• An almost immeasurable improvement in Frances's behavior.

I got lots of other great stuff and it was really fun. I'm basically just writing this to kill time until my kids will play Beatles Rock Band with me again. It was really interesting to see them humor me and then one by one make up excuses to do something else, leaving me playing the game alone by myself. Embarrassing? Hardly. Now they know how I feel all the time, every day--about all the stuff they want me to do.