Let Me Explain Why I Haven't Blogged

Now that I'm teaching, I'm busy. So I don't have time to blog. I have to cut and paste handouts from other [good] teachers and white out their names and memorize my lectures with zany, spontaneous jokes. I also have to be very careful about what I write now that I am a professor. My students really look up to me. You should see how they hang on my every word in class. So I'm sure they will pore over my blogs (when they aren't rating me "hot" on ratemyprofessor.com. It's so embarrassing!) I have to choose my topics wisely. No more of this Paul Bettany naked sleaze. I hold their young minds tentatively in my bare hands. It's not something I take lightly.

Everyone has a blog now. It makes me feel commonplace to blog. I refuse to become a cliche of the 21st century!

It takes me a long time to read everyone else's blogs.

There are shows on that I must watch. Primarily, Lost, Heroes, and The Office. And then I have to think about them and figure out if Ben (Henry Gale) is really somehow good and I pause to admire Jack's coolness and I wonder if Nikki is going to be a villain because I don't see how she could be a hero and, finally, I dwell on Jim. And Pam. And sometimes I think about Michael and I laugh and laugh and laugh.

It is already November which means I have to get my ward's Christmas movie ready. This is basically the equivalent of a demanding full-time job and I really don't have the time (you've seen how my blogging has suffered) but I know that if I don't put this slideshow together with just the right pictures set to just the right music the ward could, well--I hate to say it, but--fall apart. This year it's especially tricky. I'm not glossing over the hard stuff like some filmmakers. But I have to do it with sensitivity and respect. Last year we were a newly organized ward and stake. The slideshow said, "We like each other. We are united." But this year I'm trying to accomplish more. This year the slideshow says, "We love each other. We are beautiful."

I have been working on couches. You see, I have three rooms that need couches. (Ok, yes. I live in a mansion.) One room had perfect couches that I loved. These are the couches that Ben cut with an Exact-o knife.  Homeowner's insurance covers this sort of thing, but our deductible is $1000.00 so it's not that helpful. I had to decide what to do with the cut couches and which couches to put in the living room and on and on. You will surely relate to my confusion and, perhaps, be more understanding when you hear that I decided to replace the cut couches in my front room with a new seafoam green number. What can I say? I shop at RC Willey. It was like choosing between Nixon and McGovern.

I think these are all good explanations for why I haven't had time to blog. But the truth of it is, I was just waiting for 17 comments. You see, it's not my fault--it's your fault. Those pictures of Tina Fey were so cute I felt strongly that at least 17 people needed to see them before I moved on. Next time maybe you'll comment a little quicker and a little more. (If there is a next time.)