Foshozzy Blogozzy

A while ago--before Christmas, I think--I discovered a dead mouse inside the bag of Ozzy's food. Upon its discovery, I felt very confused. As I have mentioned before, Ozzy is quite a hunter and leaves dead mice all over for us as a sort of tribute to our patronage. We usually find them on the front porch, however--never in the house. I couldn't understand what Ozzy was trying to tell me by putting the dead mouse inside his bag of food. I wondered if he was trying to make a point about the type and quality of his food. Soon I realized that Ozzy had not, in fact, placed the dead mouse inside the bag of cat food. Instead, the mouse must have gotten in the bag and been unable to get out. And then it died, I guess. It's ironic or something. You know--a mouse (which is cat food) dying in a bag of [literal] cat food.

So a couple of weeks ago Ozzy up and vomits right in the middle of the kitchen. This is unlike him. I know other cats do this sort of thing all the time. It's cat nature to preen and vomit and have hair balls--they're so that way. We got Ozzy because we had a lot of mice in our yard and we hoped he would help and we knew we would just have to put up with him being that way. To our surprise and delight, Ozzy turned out to be a great murderer and super cool to boot. (And by that, I mean that vomiting is atypical behavior.) So I was concerned. I noticed mouse droppings in his food bowl. Sick. Could that be the culprit? Probably. But when you think about it, Ozzy eats whole mice so why should their droppings make him sick? You see what I'm saying? The principle is spelled out pretty clearly in "I Met an Old Woman Who Swallowed a Fly."

Long story short: We decided to store Ozzy's food in the garage in one of those round-lidded plastic storage bins from Costco. Because I am, at heart, irrational, if we find a dead mouse in there the first image that will probably come to mind will be Ozzy with Toonces-arms spinning the lid of that bin round and round and--finally--tossing in a dead mouse as some sort of inscrutable message to me.