We forgot to put the garbage cans out today but it was ok because later this morning I saw the garbage truck at my neighbor's house. So I hadn't missed it. The man in the truck--the garbage man--gave me an impatient roll of the eyes as I scampered to the back yard to try and get the garbage can out before he reached my house. While I was scampering under his disapproving, rolling eyes I stumbled in my front yard. I also grabbed the can much more recklessly than I normally would have considering that since we disposed of our pig carcass last summer it has had a putrid, symbiotic film covering it.
I hurried the garbage can out to the curb and panicked because I didn't know which way it was supposed to face for greatest dumping ease. The man in the truck did nothing to reassure me. He returned my eager to please smile with a look of disdain. When I was walking back to my house a tree limb whipped me in the face and the garbage man saw. I mean, he's just a garbage man. I'm glad he thinks he's so much better than me.
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I think we must be on the same route. My garbage guy clearly has disdain for me and regularly (well, I'm exaggerating just a little) refuses to pick up my trash, leaving literature with refuse must be fully contained in receptacle. Refuse may not be longer than 3 feet and stick out. If anything is blocking access to receptacle, garbage will not be picked up highlighted and underlined. In the true spirit of Thanksgiving, he's an Indian Feather, and I say that in full hopes that Suzie Petunia will read this and know it is meant for her benefit.
ReplyDelete(Do you like my usage of homonyms--I refuse to be grateful for my refuse man.)
I take it that this is your sly way of making nasty comments about your father-in-law! Have you forgotten his honorable service as a refuse collector many years ago?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you have a mean garbage man. My garbage man now is nice enough, but the one in my last neighborhood? Wow. You won't find a kinder sanitation engineer anywhere. He'd pull up at 6:30 am, and if my junk wasn't out, he'd HONK and WAIT!!! I'm serious. And it wasn't just once, either. On a regular basis on frosty mornings I was out barefoot in my plaid pjs sprinting to the can and dragging it to the curb. He'd dump, I'd wave and yell thanks, he'd wave back and smile, and move on to the next house. How's that for some good karma?
ReplyDeleteYou are so lucky. My garbage man is a stupid jerk.
ReplyDeleteSome people would be grateful that they even had a garbage can…
ReplyDeleteOf course a good tree whippin’ counts for something, doesn’t it?
We have a garbage WOMAN in our neighborhood. A bitter garbage woman at that. Don't think that I don't know that she flung that old,moldy bagel at me on purpose as I was walking buy.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she knows the tricks with that mechanical garbage can arm...
My toddler insists that we open the front door on Friday morning so that he can wait for the "tash tuck." He and the garbage dudes wave at each other. It's very sweet.
ReplyDeleteYou're mighty cute. Maybe you could watch for your garbage man, smiling and waving super-enthusiastically when he appears. I bet that'd win him over. Or freak him out.
We have a garbage troop. We live in a coultesac (sp!!?) and they fan out all over the place grabbing garbage cans to empty. As soon as they are "mostly" empty, the guys THROW the garbage cans in the general direction of where they picked them up. You never know where you might find your garbage can. You've got to love the delightful efficiency of these east coast garbage men.
ReplyDeleteAll hail the garbage men. We are their pawns.
ReplyDeleteHe is a case in point about my posting called Pride In The Workplace...
ReplyDeleteWhy do I fear to T.O. the garbage man so?
I am sorry about your experience. Next time, you should yell "thanks for being so nice and understanding!" in a passive aggressive way--which is what I said to a lady who yelled at me because of the way my friend parked a car. Long story. But next time, add a little P/A behavior to the tree whippin.' You'll feel great.
ReplyDeleteWhen we lived in Ohio, the gargabe men would drive down our dirveway in their little golf cart size trucks, open our garage and dump our garbage cans, then carefully put the lids back on and drive away. And they had a vacuum cleaner truck with a huge hose that could literally suck up a small child and they would come by in the fall and vacuum up all the leaves we had raked to the curb. They wore white jumpsuits--in my mind's eye they are smaller than normal, kinda like Oompa Loompas.
ReplyDeletemaybe you should leave him some hostess treats on the lid of your garbage with a great big bow and a note about thanksgiving and good will and garbage.
ReplyDeletemy sanitation engineers are all a bunch of cute boys (well, okay, most of them are cute--there are a couple of nasties--you know the type). We have a nice bond. I give them popcycles in the Summer, and they wait for me when I am dragging out the trash cans at the last minute. Sending sweetness in a public servant's general direction never hurts. There are some stupid jerks that don't budge, though. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteOnce, while I lived in southern Cal, I accidentally faced the can in the wrong direction and they got so mad, they sent me an anonymous letter with one of their notices they put on trash cans (along with a nice little sticker of a handicapped girl with crutches) and it had written in big letters "GET ORGANIZED" CAN'T YOU READ? Dont you know it takes the truck's loading mechanism more time..."blah,blah. Then It said " DISGUSTING", then signed it "The Ojai Phantom". I'm serious, this really happened!
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing was that I really tried to get the can right, but misunderstood and accidentally got it backwards. What did the girl with the broken leg sticker imply? were they gonna come breaka my legs?
I'm just glad there's good decent trash collectors too.