Bad Dreams About Clogged Toilets: An Explication

I often dream about grossly clogged toilets. They occur in public places or people's homes--you know, wherever. I wondered what this meant and then I had a dream about a clogged toilet and a person in the dream told me dreaming about clogged toilets means you are trying to decide whether or not to move. Well, sometimes I do think about moving because Christian commutes to Salt Lake City but I have too many good reasons not to move for it really to be an issue--not the least of which being the education my children will one day receive at Provo High (I don't mean that sarcastically you stupid Timpview zealots). Still, I wondered if that really was what dreaming about clogged toilets meant. So I looked it up on dreammoods.com. As it turns out, dreaming about clogged toilets and feces (because, I'm sorry to say--that's what they're clogged with, friend) means something else entirely.

According to dreammoods.com, to see a clogged toilet in your dream signifies that you are holding in and keeping your feelings to yourself. Your emotions have been pent up too long. To see an overflowing toilet in your dream denotes your desires to fully express your emotions.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Except, I have no desire to fully express my emotions. Apparently almost every dream, according to dreammood.com, means you need to express your emotions more readily. A few examples are dreams about gargoyles, dreams about chewing gum, dreams about faucets, and dreams about bottles.

Healthy, positive dreams where you are expressing yourself just fine involve feathers, wet suits and fiddles.

So I am going to take a stab at expressing some of my emotions here. Maybe I will stop dreaming about clogged toilets and start dreaming about wet suits.

First of all, I felt sad when Carillon Square closed its movie theater and their marquee said with bitter resolution, "Closed. See you at the WynnSong." It's especially sad because the WynnSong is fast becoming a very crappy movie theater. And "WynnSong" is just about 2 0r 3 words below "CarMerica" on my list of words I hate to say.

Secondly, when I was the Young Women's president in my ward people kept telling me a certain story whenever we were planning activities for the girls in the ward. The star of this story is a devoted Young Women's president who cut up her wedding dress to make hankies for the girls in her ward to present to them at some special activity. "WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?" I wondered. Seriously, more than 3 people told me about this activity. Short of handing me a pair of scissors, I can't think of a more effective way to encourage me to cut up my own wedding dress and make hankies out of it for the girls in my ward. See, that's the power of story and one of my greatest interests as a student of the humanities. Of course, cutting up my own wedding dress to make hankies for the girls in my ward is not something I would do--not now, not then, not ever. I can't say why, exactly. As a matter of fact, just last night I cut my temple dress to shreds for my Corpse Bride costume which I will wear to the ward Halloween party in my unofficial capacity as activities committee member. But do you think stories will circulate about me and the temple dress I cut up for that activity? Not bloody likely. I feel like that's unfair and I am expressing it now.

And lastly, I miss Winchells. I really miss Winchells. There used to be one across the street from Provo High. Now all we have are Krispy Kremes. I've heard people go on and on about how much they love Krispy Kremes. I don't feel the same way. Winchells had so many kinds of donuts to choose from and they would give you your order for free if a little star appeared on the receipt. My older sister told me about some guys she knew in high school who hypothesized that the star had to be on the roll of receipt tape somewhere so they just kept ordering and ordering until the little star came up. It came up and they did get it all for free. That story inspires me. It's one for the ages--the stuff of legends. Krispy Kreme could never inspire a tale of such calculated risk, perseverance, and suspense.

In my most recent dream about clogged toilets I also dreamed that Tim Burton said one of his new scary movies was, "so scary that if you see it you will die 10 days sooner than you would if you didn't see it." I don't know what that dream means, but it seems like a very good way to market a scary movie and I'm almost sure it is true about the movie Saw II. I only saw the preview for it and I'm pretty sure it took about 4 days off my life--my inhibited, emotionally constrained life.