Today I went to Walkers to get 44 oz of Diet Coke. Next week I will be at Girl's Camp where there will be no Diet Coke. They say girl's camp is a little piece of Heaven here on earth and I believe this is true in so far as you carry all your earthly vices and addictions with you to Heaven just like you carry them with you to girl's camp. When I walked in an old man greeted me enthusiastically with "What are you after!?" It was obvious from the look he gave me that he thought he recognized me but I am certain I did not know this man. Playing along, I smiled back enthusiastically and replied "Diet Coke!" He chuckled--this must have been some kind of private joke this man and the person he thought I was shared. Hoping it would be over soon I brushed past him and proceeded to get my drink.
Unfortunately, this man (as you may have already imagined) was the sort who makes it a practice to chat up convenience store clerks. I was dragging out the coke-getting process as long as I could but it couldn't reasonably take much longer and I realized I would have to either continue to act like the person this man thought I was--which could end awkwardly or--I don't know what--level with him? I didn't know what to do. My religious upbringing did not fail me and before I even thought about what I was doing I had offered up a fervent prayer: "Please bless that I will have no further interaction with this man." It worked. When I looked up he was gone. Thank you.
Anyway, next week while I'm at girl's camp if it behooves you to pray for moisture please specify, "Diet coke."
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Just as I was about to post a "that'll do Kacy " comment on your blog the pig magically disappeared. Whew! Since we check your blog for updates every 20 seconds or so, that poor burned up pig was starting to be etched in my screen--but what I really wanted to say was have you got a 'gone-from-your-blog-for-a-week' contingency plan? I mean, what are we all supposed to do with ourselves while you're up there getting smoke in your eyes and sleeping badly? Will you hire a guest writer? Write 5 blogs in advance that you can have CF post for you? This is serious! I feel a crisis coming on. . .
ReplyDeleteJust got an e-mail about girls camp. Temperatures in the am are 24 degress and lower at night. (Wish you were here, Julie.) I guess I will borrow your man-thermals Carly.
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you--and praying that my man thermals are enough for 24 degrees. They need to cancel the darn thing and send you to the Coke museum instead.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your prayer was answered, although I think further conversation and pretending on your part could also have been v. entertaining to hear about.
ReplyDeleteI have previously prayed: to find a headband, for a friend to catch a fish, and also not to die in a fiery crash whenever I fly. All have been answered positively. I will pray for some Diet Coke precipitation for you.
Why do people pray for moisture? Don't they really want rain, not just moist grass?
ReplyDeleteIf the prayers for "moisture" are answered and it really is that cold, does that mean you'll get slurpees?
ReplyDeleteI am, nay was, a huge coke addict, but I've gone for over a week without it. Everyone always says stuff like, "Nate, you'd feel so much better and be healthier if you just didn't drink 60 ounces of Cherry Coke a day."
ReplyDelete"Nah," I'd say, "That's not true." It is though. It's strange that they were right. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not telling you to quit drinking Coke, because I really respect a coke-loving person. In fact I'm sure I'll fall off the wagon by next week.
You could hide some coke with your pajamas and drink it while the girls are off causing trouble at night.
ReplyDeleteI have figured out who you are. You and your husband both have a blog. Do you have two computers?
I was a girl's camp director once. It was okay, I was the Seinfield one, but it worked out okay. Good luck, better you than me.
Off the wagon...or is it on the wagon?
ReplyDeleteI tried giving up Coke in any form last February. And it was hard, because I was on vacation for part of the month, which means lots of restaraunts. Anyway, by the end of the month I succeeded in not drinking any Coke, and also being a big grouchy bee-yotch to everyone for 28 days.
ReplyDeleteGood luck at girls' camp, Kacy! Are you taking your Tard boots?
How come the funniest people read and comment on your blog? How come I'm always the last one to do so?
ReplyDeleteI'll be lonely while you're at camp. Who will call me at 9:30 in the morning for 3 1/2 hour adventures doing service and hanging around the hospital? No one. No one will call me to do that. Luckily we got it in before you went! Phew!
I had something tres funny to write for my comment, but then I read all the other funny comments and forgot what mine was. Thanks a lot, people.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever read the children's book "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs"? It is still my very favorite children's book of all time. Is your camp located by the town of Chewandswallow, per chance?
"THE RIGHTEOUS??!!"
ReplyDeleteShalom Kacy!!
ReplyDeleteI was a YW President three times and somehome managed to avoid attending Girls Camp. I felt really guilty...but somehow not. Then I got nabbed when we lived in Boston to be a counselor in the Stake Camp organization and HAD to attend...3 times!!! There were tents, there were spiders, there were smelly latrines, there were skunks--there was hurricane Bob. When we moved to Texas I threatened to kill my husband immediately if he ever told anyone that I had anything to do with camp. I still had to go for a half a week--there was throw-up and smelly bathrooms. Last week I drove up to girls camp with hubby for bishops night (he's a stake leader.) Those poor girls were doing activities in the hot humid Texas weather and sweating like roasted pigs (somehow, I think you know exactly what I mean.) Is there a place somewhere between the mountains of Utah and the coastal plains of Texas where the temperature is just right for camp? Maybe, who knows. You deserve a big Celestial Kingdom medal for being there.
ReplyDelete